why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
