Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize