Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
is wine microwaveable?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
