How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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