Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
