11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
