There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
