You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
