I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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