dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
