I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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