Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
