i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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