Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
