So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
