Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
It's just like the Real World with babies
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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