the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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