i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
