Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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