I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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