he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
