You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
