so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize