I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
