what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Found the puke drawer
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The struggles of a small town man whore
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
