Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
