you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
