saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I would fuck him just for his dog
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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