Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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