So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
how can u be prego again
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Can I color on your dick again?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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