I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
