Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
