omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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