My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
These tits shall not be calmed
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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