When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Congratulations! We have a period
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
