"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
