If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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