He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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