she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
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