If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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