Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
