i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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