I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Randomize