she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
