fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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