He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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