A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
