none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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