he wants to bone in the snuggie
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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