Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize