I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
