Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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