I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
