Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
