just come out here and I will go home with you...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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