Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
