So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
