Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
