You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
