Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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