they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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