last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
