I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Rumble strips road head = magical
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
