This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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