1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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