Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
